In my plight to seek a possible long-term partner, or in moments of weakness and the lapses of judgment a potential short-term lay, I have come too often across people whose brand of self-entitlement and ego transcend what could generally be accepted humane. We seek people whose wavelength and intellectual acuity, or physical and emotional compatibility flow in congruence to our own. In every opportunity that presents to reach out to another human being, we sift through the rubbish of those whose intentions only seek a momentary answer to their physical needs, or the boosting of their egos in the consummation of a conquest. We take effort and time to present ourselves in the most agreeable and respectful manner, may it be for a possible friend whose online travails and communications provide us but a mere glimpse to their actual sentiments. Yet we push through, headstrong and hopeful. That maybe we'll get along with this one, if only for a change.

But alas, luck is usually not on my side. And the oft friendly banter you established beforehand quickly turns into selfish egotism once the meeting has been actuated. What you nurtured as a possible friendship quickly takes a wrong turn into one that is physically-motivated and sexually-driven for the other party. Rejection becomes the tenet of the one whom you have mistaken to have made an honest connection with. And in this cycle of rejection and disappointment I have come across a plethora of excuses whose well-meaning intentions been thwarted by motives formerly kept at bay, despite the honesty I have provided in terms of my physiological standings and amiable intentions. To the numerous people who have betrayed the trust I have so willingly entrusted, this is for you.

Hindi na kita mami-meet. Kasama ko boyfriend ko eh. Umalis ka na lang.

May emergency pala ako, next time na lang.

Nakita na kita, sige lakad na ako. Your not my type.

I saw you. Sorry, lumakad na ako.

Nakita na kita, mataba ka pala. Sorry. Hindi na ako magpapakita sa iyo, hindi kita bet dude. At huwag ka na ring mag-text dahil I will NEVER meet up with you again.

Saw you, sige.

Magkita na lang tayo kapag payat ka na.

You're not want I'm looking for.

(and the best so far) Bye.

Despite these, and so numerous others, I shall keep my hope up that there are still good-natured souls out there, whose intentions are laid out in the honesty of their words. These few are precious gems amidst the fake brilliance of our superficial generation, and the decrepit meanderings of social vultures that inhabit our urban consciousness. May there be more like them. And when you do meet one of them, be sure to wear your heart on your sleeve, and reciprocate the honesty and sincerity they offer. The genuine will never tarnish.

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To him who did not betray my trust, and who have quite surprisingly been a beacon of reason and understanding that has shed light on my dimming existence. Beyond what you have experienced, your lack of jadedness is a breath of fresh air that invigorates my spirit, negating my weary disillusionment. Thank you.

Ayala Avenue, Makati City
12:56pm 03 August 2009

The noon sun was blazing as throngs of people marched towards the intersection of Ayala Avenue and Paseo de Roxas. All were in high spirits as anticipation grew exponentially from the impending appearance of our beloved former president. Risking a reprimand from my superiors, I trudged in mid-step hurrying towards Insular Life Building. The heat was excruciating, un-alleviated by the downpour that greeted us this Monday morning. Despite the arid conditions, and my formal attire, this was of little relevance to an objective that goes beyond the semblances of personal comfort. Foregoing my lunch break, and ignoring a possible crash later that afternoon, I kept my steady pace. This was the least I could do for her. To pay my possibly last respects to a great woman whose unwavering integrity paved the way for the reestablishment of our nation's democracy. Her willing kindness shone hope that our humanity can still weather the most daunting of circumstances, and my humble sacrifice amidst the afternoon heat and an aching stomach seems trivial and incomparable to what she has so willingly offered to our country, despite the choice of a sheltered life for her brood, beyond the prying reach of her and her late husband's detractors.

I offer here pieces of what transpired in the streets of Ayala, Makati this afternoon. In offing to those whose circumstances prevented them from the opportunity of paying their respects to our beloved heroine. May this be an entry that I will look back later on to remind myself that once Martial Law was a reality, and the multitude of advantages and freedoms we relish today is indebted to her, and the countless masses that chose to fight in the face of a looming adversity. To uphold what is our birthright, and ensure a future of better days for our generation.

Maria Corazon Cojuangco Aquino
25 January 1933 - 1 August 2009

This morning the cerulean sky casts its downpour of tears on EDSA. Along its hurried streets and busy motorists hurrying to the first workweek of August, the asphalt glistens like any other day yet a disquieting gloom permeates the masses being moved in the thousands. This is no regular rainy-day Monday. Beyond the wet roads and the slippery traffic altercations is a stillness of an absence that we feared will come more sooner than later. The heavens wail in mourning of the passing of an unequivocally singular soul whose struggle for the upholding of our treasured democracy have inspired generations the world over. In a time when political turmoil besets our land and the blatant brandishing of corruption has become the de facto practice, we mourn in silence to a lost spirit, further igniting the flames of social unrest.

We seek validation in the faceless masses whose devotion has kept the lines along Greenhills, Mandaluyong headstrong. We pause in contemplation that beyond the strife that we face each day, and the poverty that engulfs our fellowmen, we are all one and the same. People of a proud nation seeking the justice we deserve in the eyes of our elected leaders, whose selfish meanderings have proven that in this day and age of gender and social equality, the elite inhabits our halls with the prideful indulgence and a false sense of self-entitlement.

In every man and woman, elder and child, burns a longing for the very values her late husband, and she herself, have stood for, for the past three decades. In each of us is a Ninoy, whose voice, although wavering and still at times, remains a reminder that equality and freedom is a birth right. We may oft times be undeserving of this in the manner we conduct ourselves towards our countrymen and in our affairs, but the truth is we do have the capacity to change all of this. Not all is lost amidst the darkness of our social dissolution, nor is failed in the impending wrath of economic downfall. Change is achievable, and it starts with the man whose face gazes beyond our silvery reflections.

Our nation weeps in the gaping absence that will never be filled. She has left us with a legacy that remains to be vindicated. A heroine wise beyond her years, whose integrity defeats her own social standing.

She will be sorely missed.

Let us not wait for another loss to effect change in our consciousness. Free will is a gift that comes with the responsibility of our race. It is the very thing that sets our species apart from our fauna brethren. Yet it also is the very thing that deems us at times worse than them. May we find direction in the life she has lived and realize the change that our generation can initiate. Here and now.

Let her color shine brightest in the darkest of our hours.

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Postscript 12:48pm
The crowd was emotional as she passed through the streets she once threaded some 23 odd years ago, catalyzing a cascade of events that lead to the downfall of a dictatorship. I will, time and opportunity permits, upload the footage and images I took of her brief visit to Makati later this day for the benefit of those whose circumstances prevented them to pay their respects. May we never forget who she is and what she stands for.