Everybody's a mad scientist, and life is their lab. We're all trying to experiment to find a way to live, to solve problems, to fend off madness and chaos.
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David Cronenberg

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In the anarchy of ardor affairs, the choice of professing one’s intentions and emotions to another is always a decision replete with second-guessing and reservations. Self preservation prescribes a certain balance between tact and control that often laying out one’s cards objectively dismisses. Once you fail to keep your emotions at bay, and allow the other party a glimpse of a future you seek with him or her, the ball leaves your court. Vulnerability becomes the brand etched on one’s chest, where underneath a heart trembles in anticipation and anxiety.

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For her you were something different from who you were for me, you were part of yourself, not only of her body but also of her soul, of her identity as a woman. Of course you were my child too, I didn’t doubt that, but you were not that with the same absolute uncertainty as the fact that you were her child. That a child also has a father is a quite late discovery.

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The Procedure by Harry Mulisch1998, 2001 Translated from Dutch by Paul Vincent, Penguin Putnam Inc.

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