For her you were something different from who you were for me, you were part of yourself, not only of her body but also of her soul, of her identity as a woman. Of course you were my child too, I didn’t doubt that, but you were not that with the same absolute uncertainty as the fact that you were her child. That a child also has a father is a quite late discovery.
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The Procedure by Harry Mulisch1998, 2001 Translated from Dutch by Paul Vincent, Penguin Putnam Inc.
Often I would seem unintelligible and incomprehensible to the people around me. I’ve always existed in that fringed boundary that is neither here nor there. Solitude has always been my perseverant companion, and for the most part of my life I’ve felt it both as a welcomed sheath I can nestle into, and an alienating wall insolent and incredulous. But despite my myriad eccentricities, or my failures both as a son and as a human being, your compassion; unwavering and accommodating, is the irreplaceable shoulder I find my head rested upon. Life is never pedestrian and apparent, it is as meandering as the flections of my speech, as complex as my dispositions, and as schizophrenic as my mood swings. Yet, in spite of this, your sympathetic democracy is a fact that is constant and insoluble. To even attempt to distill my gratitude into words is futile, communicative skills were never my stronger suit, yet allow me to profess, even in the brevity of my redolent lexis, how appreciative I am. For everything.
Image from here.
2 redmarks:
if i were your mom, i'd appreciate this more. it doesn't sound anything like a hallmark card. it reads like you. and that makes it more heartfelt.
belated happy mother's day to your mom, red.
@Sean Thanks. Belated Happy Mothers' Day t your mom too!
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