“We cannot live alone. As much as it pains us to be together, we can’t be alone.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - David Foster Wallace
I admit that I lack the necessary social and interpersonal skills to be considered endearing, nor the appropriate rapport requisite for amiableness, nor the levity to be deemed approachable. I concede that most of the competencies detrimental to being a sociable and socially-effective human being, I do not possess, and these are the specifics one cannot feign. To approximately place it, I have a societal retardation akin to a fish on dry land. The things that I do possess, or have an acceptable grasp of – logic, information, language, have little bearing on the dynamics of relating to other human beings.
I could denigrate myself, and profess a marked inacuity in these things, or I could be stubborn and condescend with a celebration of intellect and wit. But the fact remains this discernible limitation prevents me from fully engaging those that surround me. I could simply blame being wired differently, if not eccentrically, but to assert that would presume superlative standing. I am no better than the pedestrian and mundane, nor no less than the academic and profound. This is a crux all must bear, a bane all must overcome, and a saltire that exposes the unyielding.
I apologize, for my continued arrogance against mediocrity for the price of communal symbiosis, for my refusal to be gentrified by the norm, for choosing dogmatic intelligence over social acceptance, for remaining cryptic against verisimilitude, for being detached as dictated by my nature.
Illumigen’s words cut deep and sharply into the metastatic fibrosis of my arrested social skills, and exposed an inadequacy begging to be regarded. It is more relevant now, more immediate and significant, than it has ever been. A need requiring an alacrity to be educated, to be informed, and be reformed.
I must learn, if I am to grow.
I understand now that to be uncompromising can, and often will inadvertently, leave you compromised. That for me to have any chance of ascending the corporate salamonican ladder, or of ever being more amiable and palatable to people, or to have any chance of gaining new friends, I must be willing to share a vulnerability, and be brave to offer sincere interest, even in the face of unmistakable rejection, or admonishing circumstance.
10 redmarks:
tama :)
one could not preach effectively from the lofty pulpit. one could not teach truly when one could not disregard the boundaries of the table and the platform. perhaps there is such a thing as being "more" human.
it's so much easier to build a wall around you and put your guard up than let people penetrate and see that you're also vulnerable, human..
this entry is impeccable as always.. and, yeah.. ikaw na ang intellectual.. :)
*epistaxis*
@Nowitzki Tramonto Apir!
@paci I guess. Although, preaching and teaching was never an objective in my part. The last thing I'd want to do is proselytize.
@Nate Agree. Because it simplifies things, orders it. In the end, it is only ourselves we can wholly control.
I'm currently watching The Big Bang Theory and what you described as a lack of social dexterity reminds of the character played by Jim Parsons, Sheldon Cooper, I love him. With regard to the corporate ladder, well, you have to play their game until you are in the position to change the rules or change the game altogether. Good luck with that, I, myself, gave up on that already.
I assume kinship by channeling the lucid explanation, if you may allow. However, there is no change of heart [for me] yet; I still do not find my existence contingent to other beings.
Had though, a predisposition that you are an aspirant to politics of any semblance.
@nubadi I'm a fan of that show, and have been watching it since its first season. Good thing there's cable TV and Jack Channel. Sheldon is my favorite too, not because of his advanced intellect but for his marked lack of any social skills. I agree on the corporate ladder note, but the same situation is also evident in rather quotidian and pedestrian circumstances. Thank you for visiting, and welcome to my blog.
@the green breaker We'll never know - six degrees of Kevin Bacon could establish such a lineage. Contingent is a rather chromatically-pregnant word. I don't necessarily assume my existence to be in any way indispensable to others. But I am bothered as to how I handle mine in conjunction with theirs. This, after all, is an introspect. I wonder what instigated you to be inclined/ partial to the notion that I possess certain political motives. :)
hmm. i have always pictured out myself as someone socially inept, too. di nga lang siguro kasing-tindi ko paano ko binasa ang post mo pero the same issue, the battle to keep the comfort of our own ways or learn, somehow, to adjust in order to get whatever such compromise can offer. and you mentioned the cost of having such inadequacy when it comes to handling people and more, climbing the ladder in the corporate world, poof, this too is always a challenge for me. i admit in my performance evaluation papers that is the area i always struggle.
i started contemplating on this same issue about self and the ways of the world since the day i saw myself from Rand's books.
@Pepe I am assuming this is in relation to Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism. Which book in particular? Was it Atlas Shrugged? I am partial to his novella Anthem.
Yes, Objectivism. I've read both The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged.
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