in search of faith

A few days ago I was fortunate enough to observe a preaching on the bus ride en route to our house. The preacher in question is a well-toned colored man in his late 30's whose stature and bearing present a well-to-do lineage. He got on the bus a clear half an hour from my stop and directly proceeded in proclaiming his intended agenda for the night. Being the cynic that I am, I listened intently on his teachings and assertions with regards to faith, salvation and the purpose of life. He had a small leather-bound bible in tow, was dressed in crisp white sleeves that have been ironed patiently, dress pants and the necessary shoes and belt. The absence of a scapular and/ or a rosary, and the characteristic messenger bag made me question if this guy had any pecuniary motives.

He started with aplomb, once I got over his distinctly South African accent I could not help but get mesmerized with his oratorical finesse. Modulations and inflections aside, he had the air of a seasoned public speaker, whose message delivery, regardless of content, will surely illicit attention from his audience. Sure, I had reservations with taking his preachings ad literatum, yet I could not help but consider the validity of his pronouncements by the mere style of his actuations.

The grace of God was given to us by way of His son's death, and we as children of God have the responsibility to spread His word. Rejecting the teachings of Jesus is rejecting the grace of God. And he who refuses to spread His word is falling short of attaining His grace. We must be a nation of preachers and share the teachings in order to achieve grace. Repentance is not enough. The teachings must be followed in all aspects of our lives. Do not ask what my religion is as I will be insulted, religion is not important. What is important is to be a nation of believers.

I am agnostic, that I do not deny. I find nothing overtly revolting with his words but I do object with a few. With no intentions of discrediting his faith or the validity of his convictions, I believe for the sake of enlightenment I must expound on my own opinions. It seems to me that this absolutist view on the scripture is a misguided interpretation of the requisites of faith. Theoretically speaking, salvation is achieved through the actions of repentance and faith. Repentance is the acceptance of one's misgivings, either by the sins of omission or commission. Faith is the belief without seeking proof. This should not be confused with blind faith, whose repercussions entail a superficial understanding of the requisites of believing.

I have always held the scripture in high esteem, but do understand that it is a guide to the manner by which our lives must be lived in commune with our fellowmen. This is not absolute. The words were written by men whose inspiration, although divine, was also open to the interpretations of their age. Translations have both diluted and distorted the meanings of the text. But what I do believe is the distilled virtues the scripture teach, whose learnings are universal values that remain unbound by the definitions of religious affinities. Rejecting the teachings is such a strong statement. But "must be followed in all aspects of our lives" is just as erroneous and extreme.

I started to have doubts with this man. Yes he posed such valid and provocative arguments, but the manner of expounding is tantamount to the condescension of an armchair believer. Being a nation of the faithful is far more effective than a nation of preachers. Sharing the word is a virtuous exercise, but it also requires reciprocity from your flock. Faith is neither learned nor taught from the scripture, it is a virtue gained by personal choice and conviction. Then he took out a wad of envelopes and proceeded to thread the aisles giving out his requests for donations in support of the Nation of Preachers. The punchline came when I was handed my own personal request. It had neither a name of an organization nor the name of the preacher. What it did have was quotations from the scripture coupled by a cellular number and a p.o. box number from Marikina. Which got me thinking, what legitimate religious group would refuse to define their actual affiliation and refuse to give an actual address of worship?

Then the envelope read "Edify His Word." Why chose edify? By edify you mean to define permanence and absolute complete distinction? As in, to put on a pedestal? It was a mere confirmation of my observations. Despite his charismatic delivery, his was a lesson on textbook preaching. Afterwards, while collecting the envelopes from the sleepy crowd of commuters, he proceeded to stop to forgive and pray over every single individual who refused to part with the contents of their wallet. It saddened me how the act of spreading the word has been distorted to this sort of financial propaganda that infuses public embarassment as an effective way of coercing cooperation from the mass' ungiving wallets.

I looked at his searching eyes. Not with hate or irritation, but a quiet sadness that professed my disappointment. I gave back his empty envelope with the firmness of my convictions. Bless you sir. He nodded and quietly moved on to the next passenger.

My distress aside, I tried to sympathise with this man's attempt to brave the recession. It was a double-edged sword, by professing the scripture it afforded a certain momentary hope to the audience, and by parting with a few change we supported this man's plight from financial difficulties. Whether or not his was a legitimate mission and cause, the cynic in me would lightly contemplate that a lesson was still gained here.



Faith is found in the most unlikely of places. There is no formula in its sublime workings. Whether we gain it from the ritualistic canons of structured devotion, or the epiphanies of a life-changing experience, from the friend whose shared lessons give us enlightened insights, or the preachings of a faceless crowd whose words echo the books, faith in all its simplicity is still faith. The manner by which our faith is catalysed is inconsequential and hold little import against the fact of being truly faithful. We are a nation of creative people, our resilience lies on our ability to quickly adapt to the necessities of our time. And the way by which we earn this faith is as varied as the permutations of graft and corruption.

I am thankful to have been a witness to his preaching. And in me it stirred a belief that for long I thought have been sent to oblivion. My faith was renewed, not by the realizations of his teachings, but by the recognition of the knowledge that I have been with faith. Stronger than words gained from another man, or ambiguous text read from a book. I am thankful for him still, for allowing me to find what I've always had.

He departed from the bus with his envelope and book. A few moments later I got off at my stop. I smiled, thankful to God for affording me work that saves me from desperation. Thankful for the safe trip and the opportunity to see His handwork in the most unlikely of methods. God does work in the most inexplicable ways. Oft hard to comprehend, but lyrical and eloquent nonetheless.