a letter to an inanimate entity

Dear Blog,

I would like to apologize for my protracted absence. It has been a while since I’ve last posted anything noteworthy for you. For all its worth, this negligence has been primarily unintentional. I wish I could expound on the reasons more, but the cloud of doubt, uncertainty and anxiety looms over me like a shadow. A very large, menacing, and amorphous shadow.

I remember fondly the period that you’ve kept me company in my solitary confinement. A self-imposed hermetic banishment that afforded both a detachment from reality, and a convenient excuse from social interaction. I was prolific back then, or at least I imagined myself to be; writing prose and poetry, intellectual discourse, and random musings fed by a pervasive ennui. I kept my experiences open like a half-read book, but sheathed in the sieved tropes of my own devices.

But now, you lie here barren, and rotting in the oblivion of my own doing. I wish I could make up for time we lost. Weave anew stories, and recollections worth referring to in the future. Or, simply document a life that has gone askew. The least I could do is to revive you in piecewise fashion, from the sordid mess that betray my silence. Not to make up for lost time, which seems difficult and questionably relevant at this point, but to allow you the attention deserved.

I am aware that I cannot be as verbose, cryptic, or aggravating as before. Not that I’ve lost the penchant for the arcane, nor the patience and gusto for the multifarious. More of the fact that I find it excessive to burden you with frivolous jargon, or septic banter in scholarly clothing.

For my poverty of devotion, the disappointing detached demeanor, and the furtive, almost foreign refusal to share; I am deeply sorry. I am no Elsa. This glacial silent impertinence bothers me. As the cold always have.

Profoundly indebted,

Red